BANGOR – Betty Michaud’s husband of 39 years wakes up every hour during the night. Each time, he makes his bed and gets dressed even though dawn is nowhere in sight.

He forgets what apartment he lives in and what day it is.

So Michaud reminds him. It’s Thursday, she’ll say, echoing herself every time he asks.

“The biggest challenge is not to lose your cool repeating yourself,” she said. “It’s heartbreaking to see somebody with his level of education go through something like this.”

Once a skilled electrician, the 64-year-old man now struggles with his body and his mind because of Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s diseases.

“I’m trying to keep him at home as long as I can,” she said.

Michaud was among more than 50 men and women, who care for loved ones with Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia, in attendance at a related seminar held last Friday at the Spectacular Event Center in Bangor. Sponsored by the Maine chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association, the daylong event featured informational presentations and inspirational speakers, as well as a comedy show, catered lunch and free massages, pedicures and manicures – special luxuries for those dealing with the emotional and physical stress of caregiving.

According to the Alzheimer’s Association, an estimated 30,000 people in Maine have Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia. Nationwide, it affects 4 million Americans.

The degenerative disease attacks the brain, resulting in impaired memory, unusual behavior, personality changes, loss of language skills and reduced resistance to other illnesses. There is no known cure.

According to a 1997 study, conducted by the National Alliance for Caregiving and the American Association of Retired Persons, some 22.4 million U.S. households were engaged in caring for someone over the age of 50. That’s nearly one in four American families.

“I think caregivers do some of the most challenging and hard work on the planet,” said Liz Weaver, program director for the Maine chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association. “[The disease] robs your loved one…of that person’s ability to say what a good job you’re doing and say thank you.”

Weaver, herself, knows the demands of caring for a sick relative. She recently learned that a family member is showing signs of dementia.

“Those of us in the field, the so-called experts, we do not have a get-out-of-jail-free card when it comes to our families,” she said.

Organizers said the conference was designed to give caregivers a chance to share their experiences and exchange coping skills and other information with people in situations similar to their own.

“This day, for me, is about socializing,” said Michaud, who was hesitant to attend because she was nervous about leaving her husband at adult daycare longer than usual.

“Usually I wouldn’t bother to get a manicure or a massage,” the Old Town woman said. “To me, it means a lot to just go out and sit down to eat a meal, something as simple as that.”

More than 20 exhibitors shared their expertise on how caregivers can tend to their own needs as well as those of their loved ones. Darlene Field, education and program specialist for the Alzheimer’s Association, shared tips for managing stress, eating right and maintaining social connections, all of which may help reduce the risk of brain disease.

“There is a lot of information and education out there,” she said. “They [researchers] are telling us we can push back the onset of Alzheimer’s by keeping our bodies and minds healthy.”

Pat Blanchard of Waltham perused the exhibitors’ tables after getting a shoulder massage and having her shiny black hair twisted into a curly updo. It was her first sitdown with a stylist in about a year.

“I find all these things very relaxing,” she said.

Blanchard’s husband, now 63, first started showing signs of early dementia when he was in his 50s. Now, routine tasks such as balancing a checkbook and making change overwhelm him.

“It is just so wonderful to come to a place where someone understands what you are going through,” she said.

For more information on coping with dementia, call the Maine chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association in Portland at 1-800-660-2871 or visit the agency’s Web site at www.mainealz.org.